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The Howler

Brain Drain

Brain Drain

May 24, 2017

The Test. Every man, woman, and super senior at Monarch High School dreads it. It is the epitome of stress, preparation, and lowered GPAs. It takes...

This is How We Do (Senior Year)

This is How We Do (Senior Year)

April 28, 2016

I am an almost legal adult that’s roughly 23 days way from graduating. I have infinite wisdom, most of which I pull from Nick from New Girl (You don’t...

Bottoms Up!

Bottoms Up!

April 27, 2016

No water bottle People that don’t carry a water bottle are, you guessed it, dehydrated. Dehydration often leads to sadness. Not carrying a water ...

Reasons Why I Don’t Understand Basketball

Reasons Why I Don’t Understand Basketball

February 23, 2016

Dear Basketball Players,     You would think that by going to Monarch High School and completing the freshman gym basketball unit, and by being e...

Monarch’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

Monarch’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

February 10, 2016

What to put in the survival kit a.k.a. backpack: A pocket knife or just anything sharp like scissors, nail files, pens.  If sharp enough, you can defend...

The 5 Best Things About Basketball

The 5 Best Things About Basketball

December 17, 2015

  Floor burns: Need I say more? Floor burns are obviously the best part of basketball. It could be a blister on your hand from sliding on the...

Tips to Stay Sane in the Beginning of the School Year

Tips to Stay Sane in the Beginning of the School Year

September 14, 2015

The beginning of the school year can only be compared to being slapped across the face with a slice of burning hot pizza by your best friend. The night...

The Six Stages of Having a Crush

The Six Stages of Having a Crush

May 1, 2015

Disclaimer: If I have ever had a crush on you, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Ever since I was in second grade and developed a massive first crush...

The 13 Worst Things About the Holiday Season

The 13 Worst Things About the Holiday Season

December 1, 2014

13 is a satanic and annoying number, and so are these irritating things about the holiday season. I can guarantee you can relate to at least one of these...

Hell’s “Naughty-Nice” List Goes Digital, Results Disastrous

Jack Howard, Staff Reporter

May 23, 2014

Filed under Humor

This is a piece of satire and should be interpreted as such. Archchancellor of the underworld, Eugene J. Satan recently made the executive decision to transfer his detailed files on the world’s people to an online format. “The real incentive behind the switch was when flames crept into one of our expansive file rooms, destroying nearly half of its contents” said Satan...

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